blenders are for families too

Don't be fooled by the title of this post.  I'm not some morbid psycho.  Give me a chance to explain myself.  Sometimes in life, well, life happens and families separate.  And then sometimes mom gets remarried, or dad gets remarried, or they both do.  Sometimes the new spouse comes with a bit of baggage we call kids, and would you look at that, we have a blended family.  A yours, mine, and ours kind of situation.  Statistics show that it takes about 2 years for anything thing in a blended family to feel normal.  And even then, the step-parent will more often than not just seem like an aunt/uncle figure to the step-child.  The birth parent will be the one dishing out any heavy discipline.  Consequently the children could get smart and use this to their advantage.  A sort of abuse of power to get just what they want.  What do you think?  I've seen it happen in the movies, is real life the same?

parenting: don't make it too hard

Through being a parent, patience is developed and not only are our kids taught but so are we.  There are so many different approaches to parenting that many of them end up not being as effective as we would like them to be.  There is one method however that does bring in the desired results.  I'm sure you're dying to know what it is.  Drum roll please... It's called active parenting!  It's purpose is to protect and prepare children to be able to survive and thrive in the real world.  You may not believe that there is such a thing, but there is!  You give children/teens choices to create responsibility.  These choices also come with consequences, both negative and positive depending on how the child/adolescent holds up their end of the bargain.  Through this parenting method, children will develop cooperation, respect, responsibility, and courage.  Still don't believe me?  Look it up yourself and give it a try.

we don't communicate with our mouths

Did you know that verbal communication only makes up 14% of the message we interpret when talking with someone?  35% of the message is the tone taken while saying those words.  What could the last 51% be referring to?  NON-VERBAL communication.  Non-verbals are things like body language, thoughts and feelings, and the media.  This is why texting is one of my least favorite things to do.  When the recipient is reading that message, they're only getting 14% of the intended thought.  All this encoding and decoding take place to understand the real meaning of the messages we are trying to send.  I don't know about you but sometimes this can be really exhausted!  I just want to get my thoughts across without everyone reading into them to try to find that hidden meaning.  Is there a solution to this?  You're thoughts are as good as mine!  I hope that there can be a way to stop this.  I think the best way is so share out real meaning and intents.  No beating around the bush, we should just be straight-forward, in a respectful way.

it's all in your head

Life is crazy.  Things happen all the time that we weren't ready for, or never thought would happen to us.  So the question is, how are we going to react to them?  We can turn situations into stressful ones that affect us the rest of our lives, or we can learn to have positive and helpful thoughts that could potentially turn "defining moments" in our life to "passing waves."  If we have negative thoughts about a situation or even a person, we need to take a step back and look at the reality of the situation.  After we do that, (grasp reality) then we will be able to take on the world with more self confidence than ever before. Let's all try it!  Because I know this is something that none of us are perfect at.

marital intimacy...

So I have to admit, I am a couple weeks behind in the wonderful world of blogging.  But this particular post is going to be about, you guessed it!  Sexuality and intimacy.  Fun facts... Did you know that women like to feel safe before they're going to want to have any kind of sexual intimacy from their partner?  Did you know that men like to be sexually intimate and only then can they gain that safety and security?  Interesting isn't it?  How then, you might ask, does it all work out?  Well I've learned that in order for the intimate experience to be the best for both husband and wife, it's all about making the experience a selfless one.  If you and your partner are truly attentive to each other's needs and experiences, then it will be much more fulfilling.  Last but not least, don't feel like you have to rush into anything.  Take it at your own pace on your own time.

marriage... let's talk about it

Many people are under the impression that marriage it happy, easy, and virtually problem free.  I'm here to tell you that those people are very wrong.  I'm not saying that marriage sucks and that it's not worth it.  I think it's amazing and wonderful, but it's also a lot of hard work.  I probably won't be able to fully comprehend that until I'm married myself.  But, I know it's true.  There are some common problems the first month of marriage that can be avoided with one simple solution: talking about it!  More often than not couples forget to talk about important things before they tie the knot.  These things include: meals, transportation, money, daily routines, and talking to family back home to name a few.  If you and your fiance talk about your future life together and what you expect, then there won't be as many surprises, arguments, and unsolved (normally simple) dilemmas. Moral of the story, talk it out when you're engaged even if it seems simple.  It's worth it!

what kind of love do you feel?

This last week I learned about many different kinds of love.  I want to focus on three right now: passionate, compassionate, and companionate.  Passionate love is all about emotion.  It's physical, sexual, and romantic. This is the kind of love we see often times depicted in movies, music videos, and television.  Compassionate love is similar to passionate love but there's an added level of caring more deeply for that person.  And companionate love is more like a partnership and a friendship, it's more likely to be the longest lasting.  So what kind of love do you want to have and experience?  I think that there should be a balance between them.  I think that while companionate is going to last the longest, it's important to have that passion involved in marriage.  Passion is something that can help you connect to your spouse on a deeper level, it will keep you in love and your friendship will strengthen as well.  I'm not married yet and therefore cannot evaluate my own relationship with my husband.  But I hope it's one that contains passion and charity.  Think about your relationships... What kind of love are you experiencing?